This morning or well yesterday now I suppose the day started with such promise. Then it took a nose dive we were not ready for. In short I don't know how much longer Daisey Mae will be with us. I know she is "just a dog" but she is MY dog, she is my baby. I cant/haven't had children yet and Daisey is my child. and God is taking her away from me. she is fighting so hard for us, and i know she isn't ready to go, but the surgeries she may need to save her could kill her. and she isn't a good candidate for surgery anyhow. so the likely hood of her surviving are slim to none. I asked the vet on the 1-10 scale and she said 2. In just a few hours Robb will take her back to the vet to have an ultra sound done on her to see if maybe we can have some hope, and as positive as I want to be, I just have an awful feelings the outcome is going to be very bad. I am not ready to say goodbye to her. I'm just not. I can barely see I've cried so much.
What did I do that was so awful to not let me be a mother? and take my little baby from me. and to just put the cherry on top tomorrow is my birthday. I know that "life isn't fair" but could I just catch a break? I keep telling her how much I love her and it will be ok. she just looks at me like she wants so bad for me to hold her like i always do but she is so weak she isn't moving a lot and she cant breathe so when she does move it just breaks my heart more.
I am not strong enough to be there if we do have to put her to sleep. What would I even say to her? How would I make HER feel better when that is all she has ever done for me. How can I be strong when I just feel so broken and lost. Every fight Robb and I have ever had Daisey shared the tears with me, made me feel loved. Made me better. I have never loved a dog like her in my adult life. I just don't know how I will handle her not here.
I know she has had an amazing life with us. We have spoiled her, Robb takes her to work, she is the one who ALWAYS gets to go on car rides ect... so I don't feel like she ever had it bad with us. I just cant do this. Not right now, I am not ready. There were no warning signs she was FINE last night, playing and being my little girl, and then today happened. I just don't understand, I don't I wanted to find that one perfect photo of Daisey and I but I can't seem to find it. I thought I had one. So I just wanted to put a few I did come across while I was in here breaking down.
This was one from when we first got her I got this sweater for her at the affair of the heart with
It is one I have always loved. grandma and I just loved it on her.
Me and My Sleeping Angel. Her Christmas Photo, Such a pretty girl
See what I mean, Spoiled. Me and all of our babies together
My wonderful Husband and my Favorite Dog.
Yes we will still have Duke and Ranger, and Duke is half of Daisey so I am so so thankful to be able to have that. Its just not the same. If you ever came over you would know. She is just my Girl. The odds are stacked against us, but please pray for us. For healing for her. This isn't how her story was suppose to end but I have no control and we cant keep her in pain for our sake. She deserves better. I will forever ache for her.
All dogs go to Heaven, right? I mean dog is simply GOD spelled backwards.
I love you so much Daisey Mae
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