Let’s just start with last night was weird. I was way to upset about running out of coffee creamer which that in addition to almost no sleep the night before just made for a disastrous day. Nothing seemed to go right, everything was upsetting or stressful. When the work day was finally over I was more than happy to go home, and watch the rain. But then Robb had to work late and that bothered me, I just wanted him home with me. He stopped and got us dinner at KFC and gave it all to me while I was in bed ( yes I know ladies I am spoiled I really have such an amazing husband, I am aware of how lucky I am and I love it). I just wanted him to just be in there with me, but he kept working and doing other things and said I was being difficult just to be difficult. I know this isn’t the easiest on him either but it’s not HIS body that is dealing with added hormones. I am NOT meaning to be difficult, really I’m not. This drug is just so weird. Everything was way too funny or made me bawl my eyes out. At one point I was laughing at something Robb said and then it turned into crying. He didn’t know this because I had my face covered with my blankets. (Although if he reads this he will now)
I will say the highlight of my day was getting to go have lunch with my Beautiful Friend Emily. I needed that and I am so grateful to her for meeting me so we could just chat. Get me out of my head for a while you know. She also just got a pretty cool new car, so that was fun to look at. I am sure our lunch was well over an hour but it was so worth it to me.
Today is payday Friday. And Friday the 13thso I guess the HUGE scare I got this morning was well deserved. My Aunts Boyfriend stays at our house when he is in town for work. I had totally forgotten about that, so when I was taking me time getting ready, and buying my Photo Op, I started to hear noises like someone was in the house. I KNEW it couldn’t be Robb because he had left already, I almost called out to him. Either way I watch way too many scary movies so I just stayed quiet and sat as still as I could. People who call out or go look DIE in those movies so I knew better. I was so relieved when it was Thomas walking down our entry way. So he and I ended up talking for a while and I got totally side tracked and left for work and left the babies outside. Of course I didn’t even realize this until I was ALREADY at work. So I waited it out for a bit for traffic to die down, rushed home and put them up. I felt SOOO bad. But I also fixed it so I can’t get in “trouble”
I really cannot believe I forgot about my babies. I know they are only dogs but I just feel so worthless and like I am going to be such a horrible mother because I can’t even remember to bring the dogs back in. To make myself feel better I am 110% going to blame it on Thomas distracting me and the added hormones.
Have I told you how sweet the ladies at work are? Just a few minuets ago Joyce came into my office and said “ I know you are going to think I am crazy but God just told me to come hug you” and then she gave me a huge hug and said I just know it will happen for you. And then yesterday Heather said this to me “I am praying so much that this round of Clomid works for you. It breaks my heart to know what you are going through. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and you are going to be a wonderful mommy. “Isn’t that just the best thing to hear when you feel so unlike yourself?
I truly have so many things to be thankful for. I just know I have to keep powering through all this and good things will come. It’s just the being here now part that is difficult. I have such wonderful friends that are here for me as well. And they do make this easier for me. I am so ready for this month to be over so I can get whatever results from this challenge and KNOW where we need to go from here.
Jan is the head nurse at my clinic, I missed her call this morning but she said that my Day 4 blood work was in and that my FSH level was 4.4 which is normal and my Estrogen was 29 which is “ok” but that we won’t really know anything until we get blood work back from CD21. And I haven’t done that yet so I still have some wait time. Although the way she said “was ok” has me a little worried.
This weekend we are going to see the Blue Man Group at the PAC with Brandon and Krystal so I am looking forward to that. And I guess I have boot camp tomorrow morning at 9am. I don’t know why I say I will do those things. I hate working out. I KNOW I need to but whoever wants to work out. Sheesh not me that’s who! I really wish I was going to see Luke Bryan tomorrow night but we were never able to find ok tickets for a decent price. Again concert snob here and I don’t want to sit up high and I also am not going to pay WAY over the face value I just won’t. People are jerks who do that. Extra $50 I get but $200-$600 more? Come on you need to be punched in the face. It’s just rude you CLEARLY didn’t pay that much for them and if you DID then you’re an idiot and again should be punched in the face. Woah didn’t see that little tangent coming on but that’s the beauty of hormones.
TGIF.
XOXO
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